


an open letter to the boys who leave

by allisonarrgent (feignedgrace)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I actually don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 21:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feignedgrace/pseuds/allisonarrgent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We can't help but smirk when we walk past and practically hear the boys thinking, 'There goes hell in high heels and combat boots.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	an open letter to the boys who leave

"you can't make homes out of human beings  
someone should have already told you that  
and if he wants to leave  
then let him leave  
you are terrifying  
and strange and beautiful  
something not everyone knows how to love"  
 _––warsan shire_  


* * *

I'm sorry about the broken shards of your heart, shattered glass and spilt blood on the linoleum floor the only sign that there was any type of struggle here after the man who killed my aunt is the same one who stole your soul and hope for normalcy. I shouldn't have left you in the dark to fend for yourself even though we're both aware that you're fully capable of it. That is why I cried when you forgave me, why the tides changed when you refused to leave my side regardless of the past.

I'm sorry I didn't say  _I'm in love with you_  when I knew I was. I'm sorry I waited and made you sit through all those pointless phone calls I made from France since I really didn't have anything to tell you about my trip, but I dialed your number from muscle memory after a couple of glasses of wine anyway because I just wanted to hear your voice. I'm sorry I sighed in the moments of comfortable silence and said  _I miss him_  when there was a lot I could have said instead. The fact that I still care about the boys who leave is a testament to how difficult it is for me to let things go completely, but I'm only human. What I do want them to know, though, is that I don't regret any of it. They made me stronger, proved that I don't need them anymore. They shouldn't bother coming back.

I'm sorry that at first I pretended like you weren't my everything, because you were. You were all that ever mattered, and all that ever will. I underestimated the chance that you might feel the same way, regardless of the only confirmation I needed being clear in your eyes on the occasions when you thought I wasn't intently staring back. There is no room for excuses, because all we are used to now is death and destruction in the midst of a clock that never stops ticking. I would keep apologizing until my last breath, because I know we're going to last, but –

I'm not sorry we met. I'm not sorry I chose to stay. I'm not sorry that I would kill for you, ruin perfectly good architecture for you, and turn against the rest of the world in a millisecond for you. I'd do it all for you – for us, for an opportunity, for the purpose of keeping the fire that whispers our names burning bright in the night, because we define the true meaning of glory. The boys who make the mistake of believing we are nothing but pretty faces and nice legs tend to quickly realize that we are the real survivors and fighters, and we can't help but smirk when we walk past and practically hear them thinking  _There goes hell in high heels and combat boots_. We are what makes it work, and we are the ones who could easily tear it apart. No one should ever forget that.

So although I don't expect you to, I'll still plead – please don't leave. Don't leave because I love you, because I can't do any of this without you, because there remain an unthinkable amount of wars to win. And despite it all, we are so much more.


End file.
